Parent-teacher conferences are just around the corner, and like many teachers, Jenna is unsure of what to expect. Will parents be supportive? Will they challenge her methods?
During the height of COVID-19, remote learning turned parents into makeshift educators. This increased parental involvement but also led to heightened scrutiny of schools. For new teachers like Jenna, this added pressure made parent-teacher conferences especially daunting.
In this episode, she comes face-to-face with the fact that teaching is about much more than working with students.
Parent-teacher conferences can require a lot of preparation, especially in the traditional teacher-driven format. But there’s an alternative approach that empowers students to lead the conversation: student-led conferences (SLCs). Download our printable SLC templates for all grade levels.
Interested in more free classroom resources? Sign up to get them delivered straight to your inbox.
Episode Transcript
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:00:00]:
Last time on Year One, Jenna highlighted her early efforts at connecting with the parents of her students and learned some valuable lessons.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:00:09]:
And I'm like, oh, you know what? Reaching out to home doesn't always have to be a negative thing. Like, it can be a nice positive thing. So that was a nice little moment for me to step back and be like, oh, I'm making a positive impact too. As much as I have to do the disciplining and the contacting home for negative reasons.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:00:26]:
On this episode, Jenna hopes that her early efforts in building parent connections prove valuable as she prepares for her very first parent teacher conference. This is year one from Carnegie Learning, a podcast that chronicles all the ups and downs of one teacher's first year in the classroom. I'm your host, Kanika Chadda-Gupta. During the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, parents had to become makeshift educators. As students adjusted to remote learning, they were logging into class from their kitchen tables and living rooms rather than the traditional classroom. Parents also grew more critical. And for educators like Jenna, this increase in parental scrutiny is one of several reasons that can make interacting with parents so nerve wracking. Heading into her first round of parent teacher conferences, Jenna felt a little anxious.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:01:24]:
I have never watched someone do a parent teacher conference. I've never been involved in a parent teacher conference. The thing that's catching me so off guard is not the actual conversation with the parents. Yes, that will be scary and it will be intimidating. But at the end of the day, it's only 15 minutes long. Like, only so much can happen in 15 minutes. So I'll be okay.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:01:45]:
Between Jenna and her boyfriend Liam, Jenna's got the lion chair of parent teacher prep work and it's not even close.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:01:53]:
Yeah, you're in charge of all of them for the entire day, but I'm.
LIAM [00:01:57]:
Just a blip in their day. So I think there was less stakes associated with people coming to meet me. And I was surprised at how much prep Jenna did. Like, I prepared things for mine. Like, I had some handouts and like, I had some conversations with parents, but, like, Jenna was setting up tons of handouts and sign ups for this and that and just, yeah, it's a lot, lot different. We were required to, like, fill out a sheet about every single kid in our class and, like, hand it to their parents and explain all of the data and what it means. I spent probably like three days prior just having every tab open on my computer, filling out data and information. And then I had to, like, actually talk to them and not just be a robot writing things down.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:02:40]:
Having your students craft self evaluations is just one piece of prep work that Jenna has to get right in anticipation of her parent teacher conferences.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:02:49]:
Third graders do not know how to think outside themselves and reflect on how they are. They don't have the capacity to do that. I'm like, all right, pick one thing that you're doing well in school, whether it's reading, math, but be more specific. Like, say I'm really good at, you know, my multiplication, two facts, but I'm struggling on my writing complete sentences. They don't get it. They're like, I'm good at math and I'm good at writing. Or I'm like, alright, then pick something you need some help with. And they're like, what if I don't need help with anything? What if I don't need to improve? And I'm like, everyone has to improve.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:03:24]:
Nobody's perfect. There were some students that like, got it. And for those students that were like, yes, I understand what I'm supposed to do and what I'm supposed to say and how I'm supposed to think. I actually, like, paired those students up with the students that were just like, I'm fine, but I don't know what I would need to write. So I paired those students up. Once they were done, I was like, can you help walk them through how you thought through this?
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:03:47]:
While Jenna found student self evaluations effective for some students, she chose not to have parents fill anything out ahead of their conferences, despite this being a popular approach by some of the other teachers.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:04:00]:
I've seen some other teachers at Meet the teacher or the first week of school, send home a like interview for the parents about their kid. But I've heard from teacher perspective and from parent perspective that filling out those things, especially at meet the teacher night, is exhausting and it's too much work when they're just there to drop off their kids supplies. Like when you expect them to sit down for ten minutes and fill out a sheet about their kid, they might have four other classrooms to pop around to and drop supplies at. So either it's like a big hassle for them and you don't get the most accurate representation of how they view their kid, or if you send it home as optional, you might not get all of them back. I didn't send anything home, nor did I have them fill anything out because I had heard that before and I was like, I just. I just want to make it as quick and easy as possible. It's my first year. I'm just giving them the bare basic of everything, and we'll figure it out later.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:04:52]:
As if that weren't unknown enough, Jenna wasn't entirely sure which parents would actually show up for their conferences.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:05:01]:
I still have, like, ten parents missing that have not signed up. And, like, if you. If they don't sign up, like, they don't sign up. So I sent another email today being like, hey, this is your last chance to sign up. Would really love to talk to you. Like, a reminder that we're a team and you're trying education. Like, I want to hear how they're doing at home, and I want to tell you how they're doing at school. And since then, I think I have two more sign ups, so I'm not sure how many I'm missing now.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:05:26]:
But that's another thing where I'm like, some parents probably just won't sign up, and I have to. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do in that case, now that I think of it. I don't know. Just send the papers home, email them. Be like, hey, I have some info for you. It's getting sent home today. If you have any questions, we'd love to chat. I don't know.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:05:44]:
That's probably what I would do. Now that I come to think about it.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:05:49]:
With a mountain of prep work behind her, you'd think Jenna would feel completely prepared for her parent teacher conferences. But a few obvious topics aside, the content of those meetings still felt like a mystery to this first year teacher.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:06:06]:
There are some parents where I'm like, I know what this conversation is going to be about, because either I've already been in contact with them about X, Y, and Z, whether it's academic or behavior. And I'm like, know what? This is gonna be centered around. But what's scaring me is that there are some parents that I literally have never talked to besides meet the teacher night. I, like, literally haven't said a word to them. Besides sending home the newsletters every week to them, I've never had a one on one since August. So those are the ones where I'm like, I don't know what's gonna happen. But then my rational side is like, they're not gonna come out from nowhere and start being like, this isn't happening. You're doing this wrong.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:06:43]:
My kid is saying this. If they really had a problem, they would have reached out by now, is what I keep telling myself. So I think it'll be fine. And I've heard such great things about the community that I'm in. A lot of my parents who I've been in contact with have been really good about being respectful and being honest and just keeping that open line of communication no matter what it's about. So I'm hopeful that it'll be like that.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:07:08]:
As the day of the parent teacher conferences approached, Jenna felt a mix of confidence and uncertainty, particularly when it came to how much she had to say about each student.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:07:19]:
I've been giving my attention to all of these behaviors and all of these low kids and that I haven't really been acknowledging a lot of the kids in like, that bubble we say, like, not high ability, not low ability. Like, I don't know if I'd be able to talk about this kid for 15 minutes since I've only known them for eleven weeks. Once I went through and got other data and stuff, I was like, oh, no, I can easily talk about these students. I know them, I know their antics, I know their habits, their behaviors, their study, all that stuff.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:07:47]:
One other aspect of the process Jenna found noteworthy was the possibility of having students attend the parent teacher conferences as a grade level.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:07:57]:
We decided that our students are encouraged to come to their conference as well, if their parents would like them to and if they're free to. So I think that'll also be an interesting part of it to be like, because I feel like if it's just me talking to their parent and if it's negative, I don't want it to feel like I'm just like, you know, talking behind their kids back about their behavior or their academics or something. So I'm very interested to see which kids show up and which kids don't.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:08:26]:
Jenna's partner, teacher, and friend, who's also named Jenna, is going through the same pre conference jitters just down the hall, but had a similarly positive outlook on having her students attend the conferences with their parents.
LIAM [00:08:41]:
We did a little paper that they a script, I guess, that they knew they were going to go through. They kind of had it planned out. We took class time to do it. So then I like that they kind of got to take ownership over how they're doing and they honestly just have to sit down and tell their parent, this is what I do at school, this is how I'm doing in academics, this is how I'm doing behaviorally. And it's nice to see that flip, especially in third grade, like they're learning, oh, I'm responsible for the choices that I make, and I think that's really important.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:09:18]:
Finally, with all her prep work behind her, Jenna took a deep breath, and her first day of parent teacher conferences began. To her relief, she quickly realized it wasn't nearly as stressful as she'd feared.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:09:32]:
I was right in the sense that parent teacher conferences don't have to be as scary as they sound, because they are literally 15 minutes long. Like, the clock will tick no matter what's happening. You have the right to say, like, hey, I'm so sorry. I have another conference coming in a few minutes, if you would like to keep talking. If you have anything else, feel free to reach out. We can talk, we can email, we can schedule another time. Just knowing that there's an option to be like, hey, let's take a pause on this, and I literally have to move on with no choice. I have to forget about what you just said and give my full focus to the next people.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:10:01]:
So just knowing that, like, there is an end to everything and I'm never going to be stuck in one conversation, that was something that definitely came true. My little spiel that I did with, like, going through their actual data, like, their grades and their test scores, and explaining what those meant, that took up like a solid ten out of the 15 minutes, just like, word vomiting that information at them. So it really only left like five minutes for genuine conversation about any questions or concerns. So that was even less.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:10:30]:
As Jenna went through the day, she learned it wasn't just about making sure the parents heard from her. It was also another valuable chance to hear from them.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:10:40]:
Honestly, it was interesting getting a lot of new information about these kids. One girl that I have who is like the perfect student in school, like tip top shape, always doing the right thing, so smart, so kind, so silly, so fun. Apparently her mom told me that she, like, has a lot of trouble at home with her behaviors. Like, she's very reactive at home and she gets really frustrated at home. And I was like, what? Like, this girl? I would never imagine that, ever. So now it's just interesting that I have a little bit more information about some of these kids. I'm starting to view them a little bit differently in the classroom too. Like, I'm trying to, trying to figure them all out slowly but surely now that I have that connection.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:11:21]:
And the students weren't the only ones Jenna gained a new perspective on. As the conferences progressed, she also started to understand the parents in a whole new way.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:11:31]:
Something I wasn't prepared for was most of these parents were very emotional about their children. Like, I felt like a counselor, like, I felt like a therapist. I had two parents cry in front of me about their student or about the way that their student was being treated by others. So that kind of, you know, knifed to the heart with that one. But, I mean, at the end of the day, like, it is these parent interactions, and it is them coming forward about these things that is going to create change in my room. So, like, even though it was super awkward for me as a first year teacher to, like, watch someone's parent cry in front of me, it is very productive. It was a kind of sit back and realize it's bigger than just the math lesson that I'm doing. Like, I'm helping raise these kids and their parents care about them and should care about them.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:12:17]:
So that was something I was not expecting, but apparently it's not that uncommon. Like, I told some of my coworkers and they were like, oh, yeah, I normally get one or two criers a year. And one of my parents that did cry, she was like, I cry every year at these things. Like, I'm so sorry. You can ask any other teacher. He's had. Like, I've cried every single year. So, yeah, that was something I was not prepared for at all.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:12:41]:
While Jenna learned plenty of lessons from her first round of parent teacher conferences, one key lesson she took away was the need for more time between meetings. Other teachers spaced out their conferences, but Jenna doubled down and had them back to back.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:12:57]:
The day was so long. I had, I think, eleven conferences straight in a row with no break. Like, 15 minutes, 15 minutes, 15 minutes, 15 minutes, 15 minutes. And then I only gave myself a 30 minutes lunch, and all my coworkers gave themselves an hour lunch. And I was like, oh, why didn't I do that? So, like, they were all sitting in the. In the dining hall, like, eating together, and I was like, well, see you later. Gotta go. So, yeah.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:13:20]:
Especially the afternoon dragged on because the afternoon was when I started to actually have some breaks between.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:13:27]:
With a day of parent teacher conferences behind them, the two jennas compared notes on how the day went. Despite dealing with a lot of unknown factors, things were not nearly as scary or stressful as they thought they would be.
LIAM [00:13:42]:
Honestly, I felt like parent teacher conferences, although it was a long day, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's kind of like, you have this fear that a parent is going to come in and be like, why is my kid have these grades? And, like, did you do this? And why? You know, you're kind of scared that you're gonna have to be on the defense sometimes. But honestly, a lot of parents are really great. Especially they're very supportive and very involved, which is really nice to see.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:14:11]:
All in all, it was a successful day. Nothing horrible happened. I had two no shows. One of them rescheduled, one of them did not. And I had four parents not sign up in total. Outside of those no shows. And out of those ones, one of them, I do really need to meet with them because they're one of my troublemakers, so I really do need to meet with them. So I got to make that happen at some point.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:14:36]:
But it's just one of those things that, like, drags on because either you don't have enough time for the whole conversation and then it just like continues on in an email thread, or you never get communication from the parent and then you have to continually try to be like, hey, we'd love to talk as long as it matters.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:14:52]:
Every chance a teacher has to connect with a parent is valuable, whether by phone, text, email, or in person. As Jenna looks over her notes from her first parent teacher conference, she feels good about the meaningful connections she's forming and is starting to see some positive results from her efforts.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:15:13]:
Something cute this morning was one of my kids just like walked up to me and gave me a little present and I was like, oh, why, that's so thoughtful. And he was like, I don't know. My mom said you were a nice teacher. And I was like, oh, okay, don't give me too much credit, but it was cute. It was like a little bag that said, like, teach, love, inspire. And there was a keychain on the inside and I was like, oh, that's so sweet. What a nice way to start my Monday.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:15:36]:
This is Year One, an exploration of one teacher's first year in the classroom, brought to you by Carnegie Learning. Join us for the rest of the series as we follow Jenna through every moment. And be sure to follow Miss MacNulty on Instagram and TikTok to keep up with her. For additional exclusive content, free teaching resources, and more, visit year onepodcast.com. next time on year one, Jenna discovers how difficult it can be to manage her time both inside and outside of the classroom. And sometimes that means showing up on the weekends.
JENNA MACNULTY [00:16:15]:
It was like 03:00 on Sunday and I was like, oh, thank God I'm not the only one. I'm not a crazy. You're here too.
KANIKA CHADDA GUPTA [00:16:22]:
As you've heard, parental involvement in a child's education is so important. That's why I'm inviting Jenna and Janet Irwin, mom of two and VP of marketing at Carnegie Learning to be guests on my show, That's Total Momsense. We're going to talk about what a good parent teacher relationship looks like and how, as parents, we can support teachers to help our kids succeed in the classroom. The episode is live, so click the link in the show notes to listen and visit thatstotalmomsense.com.